Waiting For Yesterday
by Camerine
Summary: [Sheyla] When she was controlled by them, she killed. When she was captured by her friends, she was experimented upon — and she was pregnant with a Wraith child. When she broke free of the being controlling her, she was different. John ... help her.
1. Dance

**NOTE: **The song that the lyrics below are taken from doesn't have much to do with the story or Atlantis, but I was writing and listening to this song, and those few lines fit pretty well. XD

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**Name: **Waiting For Yesterday  
**Rating: **T  
**Genres: **Action/Adventure/Drama  
**Pairings: **John/Teyla  
**Random: **You will need to know Military time to know what time I have listed at the top of each chapter. If ya don't know it, search "Military Time Chart" on Yahoo and click the first option.  
**AU?: **No  
**Summary: **When she was controlled by them, she killed. When she was captured by her friends, she was experimented upon — and she was pregnant with a Wraith child. When she broke free of the being controlling her, she was different. John ... help her.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_ **The Return Pt. 1**! Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday **by **12 Stones.**

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_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

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**Waiting For Yesterday — Prologue**

**_October 13th, 17:09 Hours_**

They circled each other, staring deep into the other's eyes. Neither made a move to lash out at the other, just content to continue the dance that they had started long ago. Their feet moved in perfect rhythm and their breathing was heard in the quiet room.

The silence was shattered as he struck; she twisted her body around easily, her stick meeting his in mid-air, only inches from her face.

He smirked and she smiled.

Neither spoke as they continued moving slowly. When they finally began to fight, their movements were quick and skillful, nothing out of place and nothing wrong until she knocked one stick from his hand and grabbed his other arm, pinning it behind his back as she touched her sticks to his throat. She let him drop to the ground seconds later, walking a step away.

"You have not been practicing," Teyla said slowly, reaching out her hand, offering to help the man that had so ungracefully fallen onto the floor only moments before. He took the offered hand, and once he was standing on his feet again, he shook his head to the side, his shaggy, black hair moving from his eyes.

"Yes I have," he defended himself. He tried to catch his breath, the sticks in his hands twirling as he expertly moved them from finger to finger, finally grasping them in his palms. "Again."

She smiled and nodded, taking her own sticks in her hands once more.

When, two minutes later, she had her sticks under his chin and him in a head-lock, she said again slowly, "You have not been practicing."

He frowned in response and, when she let him go, he stood to his feet.

"Once more."

"Very well, John."

They circled each other, occasionally lashing out, their sticks meeting halfway to their targets. His gaze met hers and they didn't break that gaze as they continued the movements of the training they went through every single day. Finally, he lashed out, only narrowly missing her as Teyla bent her knees, her head moving down and their gaze breaking.

He smiled as she stood back up in one swift movement. Their eyes met again, and green stared into brown as his feet moved slowly across the floor. Her sticks twirled in her fingers, and he took the opening she provided.

It took even him by surprise when his sticks moved swiftly through the air and somehow pinned her to the wall. As soon as his fingers held her free wrist immobile, she bowed her head softly, her eyes closing.

"You have won."

"See? Told you I've been practicing," he said, grinning, as he grabbed his water bottle and took a long drink. She nodded simply and moved to put her sticks in her own bag.

"Yes, very well done." But she was smiling.

He smirked and stuck his pack over his shoulder, opening the gym door and walking out with Teyla at his side. Silence fell between them once again as they walked. There seemed to be no need for words, but the silence soon became strained. John ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He was about to ask her something when Teyla said softly,

"I suddenly do not feel very well." Her hand went to her head and she paused where she was standing.

John turned to look at her. She looked worn out; more so than she ever had been after a training session. Raising an eyebrow, he said, concerned, "What's wrong, Teyla?"

"I don't know." Then she said, "Nothing. I-I will be fine."

He could tell she was lying; she looked like she was about to faint. Frowning, John said,

"You should see Carson."

"No, I will be fine. I just need to rest for a bit."

"Teyla ... " John said in a warning voice. She looked up and smiled reassuringly at him and he sighed. There was no way to change her mind once she had it made up. But maybe she was telling truth; maybe she'd just felt sick for a second and then it had passed.

Walking on, John kept a close eye on Teyla, but she seemed to be fine, just like she'd said. They had almost reached her quarters, where they usually split up after sparing, when her pack suddenly dropped from her hands. John turned around, the concern written clearly on his face.

"Teyla?"

Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she began to slump to the ground. Dropping his pack, he caught her just in time, his knees hitting painfully into the floor.

"Teyla?" he said again, trying to catch her attention. The hall that they were in was pretty empty, but a young woman who was walking through ran over; she could see something was wrong.

"Is there anything I can do, sir?" she asked.

"Get Carson!" John yelled, carefully laying Teyla on the floor. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was sharp. He felt for her pulse with shaky hands, knowing it was there but wanting to reassure himself.

She wasn't moving, but her weak pulse beat beneath his fingers as he took a deep breath in. He was overreacting for nothing, but his concern rose when she began sweating, and when he laid his palm on her forehead, he was surprised at the heat that caressed his fingertips.

"Teyla, what's happening to you?" he whispered, frowning as he stared into her face. Her brown eyes opened for only a second, and he gasped at the green circles that surrounded the iris. Her eyes slipped closed as Carson came running down the hall.

John followed them into the infirmary and watched from afar as Carson frantically tried to find out what was wrong. The line on the heart monitor went flat in the same second that a shrill, steady beeping filled the room.

"Please live," John whispered quietly.

**—TBC—**

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So what do you think? Worth continuing, or not?

___**Please Review!**_


	2. Miracle

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_ **The Return Pt. 1**! Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday **by **12 Stones**.

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_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

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**Waiting For Tomorrow — I**

**_October 13th, 21:00 _**

"Is she gonna be all right?" John asked anxiously, jumping up from his chair as Carson walked out of the infirmary. He closed the door behind him, blocking everyone's view of Teyla, who was curled up in the bed. The doctor looked from one anxious face to another, finally saying slowly,

"Aye, lad, she's all right for now."

John fell back into his seat with a relived sigh. As he ran a hand through his messy hair, he said, "But?"

"But she's not doing well. Her body is shuttin' down slowly. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for her."

The four people in the room all stared at the fifth. Soon, Carson found himself under the cutting gazes of Colonel John Sheppard, Dr. Elizabeth Weir, Dr. Rodney McKay, and Ronon Dex. He sighed and grabbed a chair, pulling it loudly across the floor before he dropped into it. In his hands he held his chart, and in his eyes, all he held was truth.

"Her body is sacrificing parts of itself to keep her alive. It's shutting down."

"We got the point," John said. "But _can_ you do something for her or not?"

"No, I can't."

John sighed in frustration and put his head in his hands.

"What were her symptoms, John? Was she sick? Tired?"

It was Elizabeth who spoke. She was clearly just as anxious to find a way to help as everyone else was.

"She was _fine_. We were sparing; she won two matches and I won one. I was walking her to her quarters and she said she didn't feel well. I guess it passed, because she told me she was fine. Then ... she just collapsed. It only took about two seconds for her fever to appear, and then I called Carson. Just one second she was fine, and the next she ... she was like she is now," he said hurriedly, as if he couldn't speak fast enough.

Carson nodded.

"I'm doing everythin' I can, and I've put her on a ventilator to limit the work her body has to do to breathe. Her fever is down, but I'm afraid all I can do for her is keep her comfortable."

"She's gonna die, huh?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well, thanks for that, Ronon. Could you _try_ to be a little more positive?"

But everyone could hear the fear in his own voice. They all knew the answer to Ronon's question, but no one wanted to face the truth. Carson smiled sadly as he stood up and walked back inside.

"How long does she have?"

John's question stopped Carson in his tracks; he slowly turned around.

"I'd give her a day, two at most."

John nodded and stood up.

"Fine. Thanks, doc."

And he walked off.

No one bothered to go after him; they knew he would deal with it in his own way. Like everyone else, he didn't want to believe there was no hope; he wanted something to hold onto, and hope was the only thing that was offered to him. So he took it, even though he knew it was stupid to hope.

Hope never helped anyone.

So he just walked away; he'd be back.

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**_24:19 _**

Carson rubbed a hand over his sleepy eyes, reaching out and grabbing at his cup of coffee. When he accidentally hit it to the floor, he cursed silently and reached down to pick it up. A yawn followed him as he walked over to the coffee pot and refilled his cup after wiping up the spilled, light brown liquid. He was about to walk back to his computer when he heard movement from behind him. Frowning, he turned around. The only patient he had as of this moment was Teyla.

He began to move over to the bed that Teyla was in. He was sure it was nothing; maybe John had finally come back.

"Teyla?"

He reached out and moved the curtain aside. She was sleeping.

His frown grew and he reached out to rub the back of his neck as his eyes floated across the different machines that were reading the young woman's vital signs. Everything was the same.

Shrugging, he walked back over to his research. Nothing happened that was very eventful until almost an hour later when there was a soft knock on the door. Turning around, Carson was only slightly surprised to see John leaning casually at the doorway.

"Can I bother her for a bit?"

His voice was quiet as he spoke. Carson nodded and John did, too. Not another word was spoken as John moved from the wall by the door to lean up against the wall beside Teyla's bed. It seemed that just being by her side seemed to calm the young Colonel just a bit.

"She _is_ gonna die, isn't she?"

"She's not-"

"You know that isn't true. She's more pale now, and I can understand those little lines on the machines as much as I pretend not to be able to, doc. She doesn't have long left, huh?"

It wasn't anger in his voice, or even sadness; his expression and his words held no emotion at all as emerald green eyes followed the pathway of the bouncing line on the heart monitor.

"I don't give up on anyone until they're gone, son," Carson said, a small laugh following his next words. "And even then, with God-knows-what in this city, I shouldn't even give up then. And you shouldn't either. She needs your help to pull through. She needs you, and everyone else, too."

John didn't speak. He just closed his eyes as he continued to lean up against the wall.

"They're all worried, you know, but they trust you," John began. "Rodney only went back to work studying that device we found because he trusts you. Elizabeth only went back to running the city, because she trusts you. And I trust you, too. Even if you can't help her, you'll make sure we all have time to say good-bye."

Carson smiled sadly. "I think your trust may be misplaced."

John shook his head as he pulled away from the wall. He walked over to where Carson sat and dropped into the free chair next to him.

"We all trust you, because you gave us a reason to. God knows there's nothing I want more than for Teyla to live right now, and if anyone can help her, it's you."

He turned back to the papers he held in his hand, a small smile on his face.

"Thank you."

John stood up and took the chair he was sitting in, walked over to Teyla's bedside, and dropped down into it once again. The sound of a pencil scratching against a paper and the occasional sound of random pieces of paper hitting into the wall as John formed them into airplanes and threw them were the only sounds that disrupted the silence. As John finally perched his feet on the edge of Teyla's bed and closed his eyes, he asked, turning his gaze back to the doctor behind him, "Do you think she'd hear me if I said something?"

"Aye, she might."

John nodded and turned back around, smirking up at the ceiling.

"That's good to know."

Another paper airplane hit into the wall, and despite one of his friends in the infirmary possibly dying, John was beginning to look bored.

"Ya know, Teyla, you need to wake up because I'm still practicing. I plan to kick your ass next time we spar, _without_ you beating me two times first."

He smirked.

"Usually I'm the one in here dying, and you and Elizabeth and Rodney are the ones sitting here, trying to be a good friend while you're really bored. What am I waiting for? Am I waiting for you to die?" He paused and threw another airplane at the wall; it missed the trash can, his target, by several feet; it was the first time he'd missed. "You're not supposed to be the one laying here. It's supposed to be me, because I'm the one who always runs into situations without thinking them through."

A small laugh.

"I would never admit that if you were staring me in the eye, so treasure the memory of me admitting my stupidity."

Carson couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched John out of the corner of his eye. Another airplane was formed, and the doctor was beginning to wonder what reports had undergone the wrath of John's boredom.

As if the Colonel had read his thoughts, John frowned at the paper in his hand.

"Doc ... I don't suppose these are important?"

Another plane hit the wall as John reached out and touched Teyla's hand; it seemed cold. He let his fingers dance over her own as he sighed.

"No, I don't suppose," Carson said, smiling, as he realized that John Sheppard's airplanes weren't expressing his boredom; they were expressing his frustration at not being able to do a single thing for his friend except watch as she slowly died.

"Hey ... doc, remember how I said I could understand these heart monitors? Um ... well, it changed."

Carson jumped up from his chair as soon as the words had left John's mouth. He ran over to John's side and started quickly checking Teyla's vital signs. When he turned to look at the worried Colonel beside him, a look of confusion crossed his face.

"This can't be possible."

"Hey, I was turning into a _bug_ once upon a time._ Anything_ is possible. What's wrong with Teyla?"

"That's just it! Nothing!"

John looked very confused as he leaned back against the wall.

"OK, explain that to me."

"I can't," was Carson's simple reply. "But her vitals are back to normal. Completely. It's as if nothing ever even happened in the first place. This is a bloody miracle!"

John smirked. "Is she gonna wake up?"

There was no reply from the doctor, but a small movement coming from the bed that Teyla was laying in was answer enough.

"Woah ... " John walked over and looked down at her. He jumped back when her eyes snapped open and let out a surprised breath as he stared into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Hey, Teyla ... good to ... ah, see ya?"

She looked up at him, confused, as Carson walked over.

"Teyla, love, I need to remove that tube from your mouth. Could you lay back?"

A million emotions overwhelmed both men as Carson slowly told Teyla to take in a deep breath and let it out as soon as he told her to. The tube came out easily and sent Teyla into a coughing fit. John handed her a cup of water from the bedside table.

"Welcome back, Teyla. You gave us a scare."

"What... happened?" Her voice was scratchy, but not something unexpected.

"Long story."

They were silent for a minute as Carson poked and prodded Teyla's body, trying to find out what in the world had just happened. She was strangely quiet the whole time, and John didn't know what to do; just minutes ago, Teyla had been dying, and no she looked as if she had just woken up from a nap, and nothing more.

Her eyes slowly slipped closed and she raised a hand to her forehead, taking a deep breath in. Carson, who was overreacting to every little thing, was by her side in seconds.

"Teyla, what's wrong?"

"My head ... it hurts."

No sooner had she spoken the words than the room was filled with a loud, shrill scream. John bolted to Teyla's side as her screams of pain echoed throughout the halls.

"Teyla!"

Suddenly, the screaming stopped, but Teyla's body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and her hands shook. Her eyes, still closed, snapped open suddenly and John gasped, backing up a step. The green line he had seen in them before was nothing compared to what he was seeing now. It seemed ad though the green in her eyes had completely taken over the chocolate brown color that had previously shone with emotion.

Both men were stunned as John tapped his radio.

"Um ... Elizabeth, we need you to come down to the infirmary. Like right now would be good."

It was when Teyla moved out of the bed, the IV in her arm seeping blood as it was pulled out roughly, that her breathing became hard. Before anyone could react, another shrill scream filled the room, but this one sounded more familiar than the last; it sounded like a Wraith.

In seconds flat, Teyla had stolen John's pistol from the holster on his belt and shot him twice through the chest.

—**TBC—**

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_**Please Review!**_


	3. Tears

This chapter is dedicated to **magicisagift**, **Kipling-Nori**, and **SeeriaNix**, for being my reviewers for the last chapter! _(Huggles them)_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_ **The Return Pt. 1**! Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday** by** 12 Stones**.

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_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

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**Waiting For Yesterday — II**

**_October 14th, 1:49_**

_In seconds flat, Teyla had stolen John's pistol from the holster on his belt and shot him twice through the chest._

Silence rang loudly throughout the room.

"Colonel Sheppard!"

Carson dropped quickly to the floor beside John, shrugging off his jacket and pressing it to the wounds that were oozing blood. Teyla still held the gun, but her hands were shaking as she watched the blood pool all around their feet; John was loosing too much and too fast. Carson turned frantically to Teyla as he tapped his radio.

"John's been hit; guards to the infirmary, stat!" Then, to Teyla, he said, "Teyla, love, please put down the gun; I need to help John." His voice was shaking, but he found courage in the fact that Teyla was fighting for control; he only wished that it didn't have to be John's bloody body that was almost able to break the hold that the Wraith—or whatever it was—had on her.

The green in her eyes was beginning to disappear slowly, and once brown was the only color that remained, the gun fell from her hands and clattered to the floor as she slumped over.

Guards ran into the infirmary, their guns drawn. Elizabeth accompanied them, and as soon as she saw John on the floor, bleeding, her knees felt weak.

"Oh my God, Carson ... "

"I need to get him into surgery, _now_. Elizabeth ... it was Teyla. I can't explain it now, but somehow she's healed. She needs to be locked up; something was controlling her."

All the while he was speaking, several other medics were helping load John's still body onto a stretcher, and as soon as he was ready to be moved, Carson ran off without another word. He yelled frantic orders to the other doctors as a gown was placed over his shirt, blocking the blood that was seemed to be everywhere.

Elizabeth put her hand up against the wall, trying to calm herself. Her heart was beating fast in her chest and her emotions were running wild. Finally taking control of herself, she turned to the guards, who had bound Teyla's arms.

"Take ... " She paused and drew in a deep breath. "Take Teyla to holding cell one. Don't let her out, and don't let anyone in."

They nodded, and carefully began to move the unconscious Teyla from the infirmary to the transporter.

Elizabeth dropped into the same chair that she had sat in hours earlier. Only then, it was Teyla dying. Now, it was John. There was so much blood, and it was all she could do to keep her eyes from straying to the thick, maroon pool that shone in the light only yards away from her. When a nurse came out to clean it up, and she saw exactly how much there was, she found herself straying into the women's bathroom where she grasped the sink tightly and vomited.

Her body still shaking slightly, she slid down the wall and held her knees to her chest.

She'd seen blood before, but not like this. She'd seen John dying before, but not by bullets that had come from his own gun, and fired by his friend. The images of the blood surrounding everyone, the same blood was was splattered all over Carson's body, kept assaulting her mind.

Was he going to be all right?

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**_2:10_**

Teyla groaned as she opened her eyes. When she looked around, all she saw were two guards placed at the door of the small room she was laying in. It was a cell.

"Where ... where am I?" she asked, putting her hand to her head and sitting up. The headache she had was like nothing she'd ever felt before; it almost felt like her head was splitting open. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, trying to make some of the pain go away.

But as soon as her chocolate brown eyes had shut, a million images came crashing into her head. Her whole body shaking, she fell to the ground, landing hard on her hands as her mind was assaulted with the picture of John laying on the infirmary floor, blood surrounding him, and a gun in her hands.

"No!"

The guards quickly turned around to see her now standing shakily on her feet.

"What did I do?" she asked quietly, but the fear and pain could be seen clearly in her eyes.

"Ma'am, please, calm down," one of the guards said.

"Is he all right?" Teyla questioned, clenching her eyes tightly shut, her hands pressing over them as she slid to the floor. The painful images of what she had done were flashing through her mind again and again. Blood ... his blood was everywhere ... _his_ blood ...

Oh, God, what had she done?

"John ... "

"Ma'am?" the guard questioned. He touched the lock on the door, but the other guard walked up and shook his head.

"Dr. Weir said no opening the door, Samuel."

"Right. Ma'am? Are you all right?"

Teyla ignored both of them as she curled into the corner, her head in her hands. It was all she could do to keep her tears from coming as she continued to remember what had happened. She'd shot John. He was dying ... and she'd killed him.

Suddenly, she felt the returning sensation come over her; she cried out in her mind for it to stop.

But she couldn't do anything.

Her eyes flashed green once again as she moved from the corner and reached her hand through the cell bars, grabbed the guard by the back of his vest, and pulled him hard into the outside of the cell. His head made contact with the bar, and he slumped to the floor, blood beginning to ooze from the gash that had been created.

"Backup to holding cell one!" the other guard, Samuel, yelled into his radio. "Major Denver!"

He was never able to help his friend, however, because as began to move after yelling into his radio, he felt searing pain in his chest right before he realized that Teyla had stolen Major Denver's gun; she'd shot him.

Her hands were shaking no more as she held the gun tightly, and her finger pressed tightly onto the trigger; she shot the cell control's beside the door repeatedly. When the door finally swung open, she watched the force field between each of the cell bars go down, leaving both Teyla and the being controlling her confused as to how they had reached straight through.

There was no time to think; three more marines ran into the room; gun fire was heard, and only one figure walked out untouched.

Tears slipped unwillingly down the green eyes of the woman as she was forced to walked cautiously through the halls, the gun in her hands and tears in her eyes that were never supposed to shine through.

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**_2:51_**

"Is he going to be all right?" she asked quietly.

Elizabeth sat wearily in the same chair, having finally forced herself to return to the infirmary. Carson had come out only seconds before, removing gloves and putting them in a trashcan along with his gown; they were both drenched in blood.

"He's going to be just fine. It didn't look promising for a while there, but he pulled through."

"Can I see him?"

"Aye."

Carson led Elizabeth back behind the curtain to where John was laying. His whole upper torso was wrapped tightly in bandages and his face looked pale and sweaty. Locks of black hair stuck to his head, and his breathing was supported by a ventilator. Elizabeth felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders at the sight of John Sheppard, alive and breathing.

"Elizabeth, we need to talk go Tey-" Carson began.

Elizabeth held up her hand to stop him and her face grew concerned and worried as she listened to the voice floating over her radio.

_"Dr. Weir ... Teyla's escaped. We have four injured marines and one dead."_

"Carson, follow me. Medical emergency!" she yelled.

Casting one last look in the direction of John, Elizabeth ran out of the infirmary. She didn't stop running until she was standing outside of the holding cell. There were several men sitting up against the wall; one was holding a cloth to his head and another grasping his leg in pain. There was blood everywhere, and Elizabeth felt only slightly light-headed as she immediately began helping Carson with the injured.

"She ... one moment she was muttering something about 'John' and then the next, her eyes suddenly turned green and she attacked. Ma'am," Major Denver said to Elizabeth, "she reached straight through the force field in the holding cell. Not even the Wraith can do that. And she ... she killed Samuel."

"Major, that wasn't Teyla. She's being controlled by something. Can you tell me where she went?" Elizabeth said, taping the small radio in her ear twice and repeating everything that Major Denver told her to the security teams that were already prowling the city.

"Use force if necessary."

She had to push the words past her lips, and she knew that if John were awake and actively in the search for Teyla, he would have yelled at her for authorizing the use of force.

"Elizabeth, love, we need to bring these men to the infirmary," Carson broke in.

"Right. While you do that, I need to find Rodney and Ronon; they'd want to help search."

"Aye, they would. But I haven't seen them since I told them to get some sleep hours ago."

Elizabeth took a deep breath in and then let it out. Between her concern for John's wellbeing, and capturing Teyla before she could injure anyone else, it had completely skipped her mind to tell Ronon and Rodney what was going on.

"I'll contact them."

Carson smiled weakly as he began to load the two most injured marines onto stretchers while several other doctors treated the rest of the injured personal on the site.

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**_9:04_**

It had been hours. Search teams had been moving throughout all of Atlantis, and there was no sign of Teyla yet. And because Rodney had been tampering with the Ancient systems, searching for information on the device that had been found on P3X-221, they couldn't use the life sensors; though said scientist stubbornly insisted that he hadn't been the one to cause the sensors to go down.

"It's been seven hours," Elizabeth said, folding her arms over her chest and pacing back and forth. She was still in full gear, because not long after four in the morning, she had joined the search teams. Only the radio call from Carson saying that John was awake had made her stop looking. Now, she was standing in front of the now-awake John Sheppard, who was trying his best to get out of the bed he was currently residing in.

"Let me look for a bit," he insisted, wincing loudly as he shifted in his bed.

"No, John, you can barely move, and what's more, you _just_ woke up from surgery!"

"Elizabeth-"

"No."

Her voice was firm, and John sighed; he knew it was the truth. If it weren't for the pain medicine that Carson had him on, he wouldn't even be able to sit up right now.

"Look, Teyla is out there hiding. You _know_ that she is probably aware of everything that is happening, even if she isn't in control. She's already living with the fact that she nearly killed me, and now that she hurt so many other people, and killed Samuel. _I can find her_. Let me out of here."

"No, John. Carson just removed two bullets from your chest! You are in no condition to be moving around."

"I feel fine."

Elizabeth gave him a look that basically conveyed the feeling 'Yeah right'.

"OK, so I don't feel fine, but I can do this."

Just then, Ronon and Rodney, along with two other marines, walked into the infirmary.

"Oh, thank God. Rodney, will you tell Elizabeth I'm fine and can help you look?"

Rodney raised an eyebrow.

"John, you look like crap."

"What a big help you've been," John said, rolling his eyes.

"Aye, but you seem to be fine."

Four pair of eyes turned around to stare at the doctor that had just entered the room. John looked at him confused, wincing in pain again.

"Care to elaborate on that, doc?"

"You're fine, except for the holes in your chest. Elizabeth, he's right."

"Hold on, he was just shot! He shouldn't even be able to _speak _this much."

"You remember the mission that Major Lorne's team went on last week?" At four positive nods, Carson continued. "They traded with the locals; C-4 for medical supplies. Elizabeth, you authorized this."

"Yes, I am aware of that. What does it have to do with anything?"

"Among the supplies was a medicine, that, once administered, could rapidly heal wounds and internal bleeding. I gave it to Colonel Sheppard during surgery because I knew there was no way he would live otherwise. It has yet to be tested, and that's why I didn't mention it before. But it does more than heal on contact; it keeps healing. It was some kind of plant on their planet. Fascinating, really. I'd like to go and study-"

"Carson ... " John said, sighing.

"Right. I'm afraid to use another dose yet, and the current one seems to be wearing off, but it's almost as if he'd been in recovery for more than a week."

"So I can go?" John asked anxiously.

Carson nodded.

"Normally, if you had been in her for a week, I would have kicked you out because by now you'd be getting on my nerves. Elizabeth, he really is up to it."

"How ... " The rest of her sentence was cut off, however, as she sat down in a chair, sighing. There was no use arguing with a bunch of thick-headed men. Instead, she said, "Fine."

"Thank you."

It took less than three minutes for John to be out of bed, out of the infirmary gown, and in his own clothes again. He grasped the gun he was given and began to walk out of the room, Ronon and Rodney with him. Elizabeth sighed.

"Men."

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"We should split up," John said.

"Why?" Ronon questioned, frowning, as they walked through the halls. Rodney jogged a little to catch up with the other men, who were keeping a constant few steps ahead of him.

"Yes, why?"

"Because, if we find her, it's better of only ones of us dies."

Rodney blinked at him a few times, then shook his head. John just smirked, trying to hide each wince of pain as he moved.

"She wouldn't kill us, would she?"

John raised an eyebrow at Rodney and sighed. "I'll keep going forward. Rodney, left, Ronon, right."

With that, he walked off, leaving Rodney standing there. The scientist blinked a few times, then walked off in his direction and John sighed in relief; he needed to go on alone. He knew he could find Teyla, but Rodney's whining and Ronon's presence seemed to distract him far too much.

Ignoring the pain in his chest, and the small amount of blood that seemed to have seeped through the bandages, he began running.

**—TBC—**

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OK, you guys can do better than this. Out of the **250** people who viewed the last chapter ... **three** reviewed. I _am_ complaining, by all means, but I will _not_ give up on this story. Ever. I am going to finish it, I'm just wondering why people won't stop and give their thoughts when it takes _seconds_.

_Oh, yeah ... and ... __**Please Review!**_


	4. Jasper

Thanks to**: Deana**, **SJ**, **ayrstar, female'wraith**, **CharmedAli**, **Alexzander Stark**, **Ocean**, **Naomi**, **Padme18**, **Jackie**, and **Esmilla **for being my reviewers for the previous chapter!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_ **The Return Pt. 1**! Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday** by **12 Stones**.

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_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

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**Waiting For Yesterday — III**

_**October 14th, 9:41**_

Teyla moved quietly through the halls, her hand on her gun and her eyes staring ahead of her. The being controlling her was much too strong to break free from simply of her own will, so she was forced to watch as her own hands pulled the trigger on each guard they passed. Some, she missed completely, and others ...

... she could only pray for their lives.

But it had been hours since anyone had found her—them. They hadn't crossed paths with anyone in a long time, and she was hoping it would stay that way.

_"Stop struggling. You'll only make it worse for yourself."_

Teyla could feel her body moving in surprise at the voice in her head. She tried to speak to it.

_"Who are you?"_

_"Who I am is no concern."_

_"What do you want?"_

There was silence following Teyla's last question and she began to feel scared as she heard footsteps behind them. Apparently, the being controlling her didn't notice, and when it spoke back to Teyla, its voice was low.

_"Call me Jasper. And what I want is to get free from here, this planet you live on, and go back to my people."_

_"Why me?"_

It was a question that had been bothering her since she had first fell under the control of Jasper.

_"Because it is what my masters wish."_

There was silence again until Jasper spoke once more.

_"They want you because you are the only one who they believe can solve our problem."_

She was almost afraid to ask it, but before she could stop herself, Teyla knew she had voiced her question.

_"What... problem?"_

_"You cannot hope to escape me, or my masters, so I will tell you what you wish to know. My people have been dying as soon as they reach adulthood. I am one of the Wraith, and we can live for a very long time, depending on whether people like you come in contact with us or not. I myself have a child, and he is close to the age where he will first have to feed. He will die soon. We cannot explain it, but we know that we cannot raise our own. One small girl was raised by a human, and she lived past the age of any of the other children."_

The words stopped briefly, and Teyla held her breath, waiting for Jasper to continue. When she didn't speak again, Teyla said,

_"You are Wraith. I have hated your kind since the day I was born. I_ _will _not_ help your people."_

_"Oh, but you will not have a choice. We don't know what it is that is killing all of our young, but we believe we have a solution. You, Teyla, in a very short time, are going to give birth to a Wraith child._"

Any response she might have had was cut off by the soft whisper behind her.

"Teyla. It's me."

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**_10:02_**

John didn't know how, but he knew where he'd find her. His feet moved quickly and quietly against the floor as he ran; he had to find her fast. He needed to, and he wanted to. Rounding another corner, he grasped his gun tighter, although he knew he woudn't use it unless he _really_ had to.

He was breathing hard, and there was a sharp, constant pain ripping through his chest, but still John continued on. The blood oozing through the bandages was slowly becoming more and more, and it was beginning to color his short a light maroon color. He was in a lot more pain than he had let on; even the medicine that Carson had given him wasn't able to heal him enough for this type of activity.

He didn't have long; he needed to find her, and he needed to do it quick.

He was just about to stop and take a breath when he heard the quiet shuffling of feet against the floor. Screeching to a halt, he leaned up against the wall and tried desperately to calm his breathing. He hadn't come this far to give himself away. Peaking around the corner, he realized that he was right in his suspicions; it was Teyla.

She was moving slowly and quietly across the floor, her bare feet making almost no noise.

When she rounded another corner, he did, too, but made sure he was at least a couple of steps behind her the whole time. As he waited patiently for her to walk around yet another corner, a million thoughts ran through his head.

How was he going to capture her? Teyla ... no, that _thing_ controlling her, didn't mind shooting anyone, and he wasn't too keen on being shot ... again. And after he managed to capture her, what would he do? What would they all do?

Deciding to worry about the capturing part first, and the other part later, he took a deep breath and walked out in the middle of the hallway, his gun held at his side and his heart beating in his chest.

"Teyla," he whispered quietly. "It's me."

She turned around and took out her gun. As she pressed the trigger, John knew for sure that the voice ringing in his ears wasn't that of the being controlling Teyla.

"John ... run!"

Making up his mind, John dove out of the way as two bullets flew past him.

He didn't _want_ to get shot again.

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**_10:20_**

"We didn't find anything."

"_You_ didn't find anything. _I _found plenty of things, but none of them were human, and most were rather disturbing," Rodney said, turning to Ronon and rolling his eyes. Elizabeth raised her eyebrow at the two men and Rodney explained, "I found a lab. One, mind you, that I don't want to return to."

"Fine. Have you heard from Colonel Sheppard?" Elizabeth asked, looking back and forth between the two men in front of her. They'd been searching for over an hour when they'd been called back.

"No. He requested radio silence about thirty minutes ago," Ronon reported, folding his arms over his chest. "Why couldn't we just check in over the radio? Why did we have to come all the way back?"

Elizabeth just tapped her radio and said, "Carson, everyone but John is here."

After accepting the doctor's response, Elizabeth replied to Ronon and Rodney, "Carson found something he needs to tell us, but he wanted everyone that was a part of the team to be present. He said we can't wait for John, however."

"Oh." And with that, Ronon sat down in the only free chair in the room, leaving Rodney to give him a dirty look and lean up against the wall.

They barely had to wait five minutes before Carson was walking hurriedly inside the room. The look on his face suggested that the news he had wasn't good. He began talking immediately.

"Before I say anything, I need to know: when was the last time that Teyla was in contact with the Wraith?"

Both men thought about it for a second and Ronon shrugged.

"A couple months, maybe three, when Ford had us on the Enzyme and we were on the Hive."

"Months ... so this is bloody possible."

"Carson, please ... " Elizabeth began, frowning slightly as she stared at the flustered doctor. He took a deep breath and turned to face them once again.

"Teyla's pregnant. I took blood from her earlier, and if a woman is far enough along in pregnancy ... never mind that, but I found this out two days ago, and she asked me to do a paternity test because she's not ever been with a man that she knows-"

"Carson!"

This time the protest came from Ronon. Everyone in the room was looking both shocked and slightly nervous.

"Right. Well, she's eleven weeks along, so I did a CVS test. I just got the results back, and honestly, I didn't know if the child survived during the time she was sick, but after seeing the results of this test, I know why Teyla was dying before, and how she healed so rapidly. And I'm quite positive that the baby _is_ alive."

"Why?" Elizabeth asked nervously, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"The child she is carrying is not human; it's a Wraith."

Silence was thick in the room; no one spoke, afraid of shattering the silence that had fallen over them all. Finally, it was Ronon who said something.

"You're sure the kid's a Wraith?"

"Yes."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and stood up, trying to get all of her emotions under control. Everything that had been said was still fresh in her mind, and she was sure that reality hadn't set in yet. She asked, "How does that explain her being so sick, and healing like she did?"

"Eleven weeks along ... that's about the time a mother will miscarry if there is a problem with the child, or if something happened to the mother. Teyla's activity with Colonel Sheppard while sparing could have easily caused a miscarriage in any woman, but the Wraith child stopped the miscarriage, using Teyla strength and life to do so. When the baby was fully healed, it concentrated its strength on healing its mother, because without her alive, it would die, too."

"So is it the baby Wraith controlling her?"

"No, I don't believe so. At eleven weeks into pregnancy, the child couldn't even hope to control Teyla."

"Woah, woah, wait a second here ... we can't possibly let Teyla have a Wraith kid!" Rodney burst out, shaking his head; he had previously been too shocked to voice his opinions; it wasn't everyday that you learned that your friend and teammate was pregnant with a child of the enemy.

"Aye, we can't, but we have to."

"Why?" Ronon asked, his voice piercing the air. Carson looked from one face to another, and then began to explain.

"We have to trust in Colonel Sheppard to bring Teyla back, and when he does, we have to lock her up and keep her that way until she can break free of the hold that the Wraith have on her. The child stole Teyla's life when she was miscarrying, what will it do if we try and abort it?"

Realization fell upon everyone.

"It'll kill _her_ if we try and kill _it_," Rodney observed, sighing as he fell back into the chair that Ronon had vacated when he had jumped up from surprise.

"So we kill it when it's born," Ronon said, leaning up against the wall.

"Now wait just a minute," Carson broke in. "We can't kill the wee one once he's been born! We know that Wraith children can live on human food for a number of years after birth; I can use that time to complete the retro-virus."

"So we're just going to let a Wraith live among us?"

Ronon was looking more and more agitated as their conversation went on. But before Carson could speak again, Elizabeth walked over and stood between the two men, frowning as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at both of them.

"We won't decide anything right now. We'll wait for John to bring Teyla back, and once she can gain control of herself again, we'll ask her what _she_ wants to do."

Carson sighed and nodded. "Right. Well, I need to get back to work. Oh, and we didn't lose any more men. I didn't use the Adoien drug in anyone except for Colonel Sheppard, as you know, and Major Eric. His wounds weren't serious, but for some reason he crashed on the table, and I couldn't think of anything else to do. But they all pulled through."

Elizabeth nodded and walked back over to her chair, slowly sitting down.

"Thank you, Carson. Ronon, Rodney ... you can join Major Lorne's search team if you like, or you can search on your own. Right now ... I think the only people that can get to Teyla are the ones close to her. John ... and the two of you."

They nodded and walked out, leaving Elizabeth to thoughts consumsed by the choices they were all going to have to make.

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**_10:20_**

John ducked behind the wall and took a deep breath in as the gunfire continued. He looked down at his shirt, realizing that the blood seeping out was coming faster; he was breathing harder, and his movements were becoming slower.

"Teyla, come _on_! It's me! Stop shooting!"

She didn't pay any attention.

"You're gonna run out of bullets!"

The gunfire stopped and John sighed in relief, cocking his head to the side. She was more concerned for her _bullets_ than his _life_.

"I am not Teyla; my name is Jasper."

John rolled his eyes as he dared a peak out from the side of the wall. The bullet that was fired missed his nose by inches; he pulled himself behind the wall in seconds and didn't look out again.

"Jasper, huh? Well, who are you, Teyla's evil twin?"

He broke off and coughed, wincing as bolts of pain seemed to run through his nerves. He needed to hurry, and _Jasper_ wasn't making it easy. John closed his eyes and took a deep breath in when he realized what he had to do. He put his gun on the ground and stepped out in front of Teyla, his hands at his side.

"Look, Jasper or whoever the hell you are. Just ... can we talk about this?"

She raised her gun. _Not_ a good sign.

"Fine, no talking then."

He shot her a nervous smile, but soon, it fell and his eyes went wide when a deep, searing pain ripped through his whole body. He knew what had happened in seconds; one of his wounds had broken open. The pain medication that Carson had given him had worn off hours ago. Pressing his hand to his chest, John wasn't at all surprised when he moved his fingers away and saw his hand stained scarlet.

"Aw, crap."

He slumped to the ground, the pain in his chest making it hard to breathe. The larger wound, the one that had been inflicted to allow for surgery, had opened and it was all he could do to slow the bleeding.

"Jo... hn?"

He looked up from his spot on the floor and felt a small smile return to his lips. "Heh. Teyla. Well, didn't go... according to plan... but it's you now, r-right?"

She dropped fown beside him, her hands shaking as she reached out for his radio.

"It's getting... harder to breathe, Teyla. Call Carson, if you... wouldn't mind."

He could tell it was as hard for her to keep in control as it was for him to breathe. Her fingers were shaking when she pressed the radio button, and her voice was, too. She whispered a few words into the radio and then shrugged off her jacket, pressing it to his wound to try and stop the bleeding.

He smiled.

"Good to... have ya back."

"John... I am sorry," Teyla whispered. Her eyes were beginning to slowly turn from green back to the chocolate brown that he had known so well.

"Just don't... let her... gain control... again."

John close his eyes and tried to take small, short breaths. It seemed to work a little. The thought that Carson was on the way, and that Teyla was herself, if only for a short time, helped him open his eyes once more.

It was only seconds after Teyla's eyes suddenly turned green again and she screamed in pain that he heard footsteps coming toward them. Carson dropped to his knees beside John and injected something into his arm just as Teyla's form, almost all the way down the hall now, fell limp to the floor; she'd been shot with the Wraith stunner that Major Lorne was carrying.

"She gonna... be all right, doc?" John whispered, looking to where two other marines had leaned down beside Teyla and bound her hands again.

"Aye, she should. But you concentrate on yourself now, son. You did a good job, even if it was reckless and stupid."

"Heh. Thanks. I... think."

Carson smiled at him once before he called out for a stretcher so they could move John back into the infirmary.

"You'll be all right son, just hang in there a little longer."

And finally, John closed his eyes.

—**TBC—**

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Wow! Twelve reviews for the last chapter. I feel loved. Know what that does? It makes me update faster. XD Hmm ... who thinks what of this chapter?

**_Please Review! _**


	5. Emotion

Thanks to **ayrstar**, **CharmedAli**, **Alexzander Stark**,** SuperRainbowMuffin**,** female'wraith**,** jtjaforever **and** AthosianWarrior** for being my reviewers for the previous chapter!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_ **The Return Pt. 1**! Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday** by **12 Stones**.

* * *

_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

* * *

**Waiting For Yesterday — IV**

**_October 15th, 19:21_**

When John opened his eyes, everything was blurry. Lights were on overhead, and he could hear voices nearby, but they, too, were hazy and hard to understand. One of the people walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. By the time Carson Beckett finally spoke, John's vision was clearing slightly.

"Good to see you awake, son. Don't try and talk; I need to remove the tube."

Gentle instructions followed his words, and soon, John was coughing as the intibation tube slipped from his throat. The coughing continued for several seconds, then, he spoke.

"Time... ?"

"Oh. Well, it's seven twenty-three. You've been sleeping for thirty-two hours." A small laugh. "We thought you might not wake up. You should feel better in a matter of minutes. We used the Adoien drug again, and it's working miracles on your wounds."

John was only slightly surprised at the news that he'd been out for so long; he'd kind of expected it. After he'd gone after Teyla like that–

"Teyla!" Green eyes wide, he sat up quickly in the bed and immediately regretted it as sharp pain flooded his senses. Wincing and coughing from his outburst, he gently laid back as he asked again, "How is Teyla?"

"Oh. Well," Carson began. "She's in a holding cell right now. The stunner blast wore off hours ago, and she's been pacing about. No one's been able to talk to her."

"But she's... fine?" John asked, pausing to take in a deep breath.

"Aye. It could have been worse. But not much worse for you," he added, and, casting one last look back at both John and the machines that were monitoring his vital signs, he walked off to inform everyone that said Colonel was awake. Expecting visitors any second, John didn't even close his eyes, and watched at the door for his friends. Soon enough, Rodney and Elizabeth walked around the corner.

"Hi," John greeted them.

"Hello, John. Good to see you awake."

"Yes," added Rodney. "While _you_ were catching up on your beauty sleep, _we _were getting the whole city back under control."

John smirked.

"And I trust ... " he had to break off as pain coursed through his upper body, and noticing this, Carson walked over and gave him some medicine to help. He also noticed that John was having a little trouble breathing, so he carefully put a small tube in his nose to help assist the stubborn man.

When he was finally able to form words again, John said, "And I trust that everything is under control now?"

"Of course it is," Rodney said, smiling. "Well, besides the obvious. The obvious being that Teyla is currently controlled by a Wraith, but yes, besides that, everything is fine."

Elizabeth sent Rodney an amused smile as she turned back to John.

"Ronon would have been here, but we have him watching over Teyla." Then, she added, "Along with several other marines, that is."

Carson added, looking slightly annoyed, "Aye. And I think it was a bloody stupid thing to do. Puttin' Ronon in charge! He hates the Wraith. He might try and kill the wee baby."

John looked throughly confused. He said slowly, "Doc. I have the feeling that I'm not being told something."

However, it was Elizabeth who spoke. She shifted her feet back and forth on the floor, and, much to everyone's surprise, began fidgeting with her shirt before she said anything. "John, we found out that Teyla... We found out that at some point when you encountered the Wraith, Teyla became pregnant. The child is part Wraith, and for reasons to lengthy to go into now, we cannot kill it."

John was too shocked to say anything for a few seconds. His green eyes flashed a million emotions and his hand was shaking slightly.

"_What_?"

"John, I know–" Elizabeth started, but she was cut off by more of John's unbelieving questions.

"How? When?"

He had a hundred more questions, but the ones he wanted answered most were probably the ones that couldn't be answered, so he didn't even voice them.

"How? We don't know, son. As for when... well, we're pretty sure that it happened while you were captured by Aiden," Carson said slowly. "I spoke to Ronon, and he said that although you were all placed in the same cell at first, Teyla was last; she was missing until only about a quarter hour before you woke up."

John nodded slowly. "I woke up a lot later than anyone else because I was the only one not on the Enzyme; I wouldn't have noticed. Can anyone answer 'why'? Like, why are the Wraith doing this to humans? And why _Teyla_?"

No one could. Rodney shifted his feet and Carson simply shook his head.

John dropped back onto his pillows, confused at what was happening, angry at the Wraith for making it happen, and angry at himself because he couldn't help Teyla.

Elizabeth could see he needed time alone to take everything in, and whispered good-bye and walked out, Rodney at her side as John ignored everything around him. Like everyone else when they had been told, the reality hadn't hit him yet, and he wasn't looking forward to when it did.

_Why_? Why Teyla? Why even do this in the first place?

"John," Carson said, gently laying a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're probably overwhelmed by all this–"

"You think?"

"–but you're the only one, it seems, who can get through to Teyla. Even if you can't help her break free of the Wraith holding her, you can at least let her know we're here for her, and we're trying to find a way to help."

"Now?" John asked, trying not to show the hope in his voice. Carson smiled.

"Yes. But you're going a wheelchair, and that is not an option. You're healed enough to be awake and talking, but that's about it. Don't even think of trying to stand, either, or I swear I'll stick to many needles in you that you won't sit for a year."

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**_20: 13_**

_"They will not let you escape," _Teyla informed the creature controlling her as she watched the marines and Ronon pace around the room. She was sitting back against the wall of the cell, and though she was able to reach through it, there was nothing and no one within reach.

_"I will escape."_

_"Will you tell me more of what you were saying earlier? I... I am not really carrying a Wraith child, am I?"_

_"Yes. You are."_

Teyla took a deep breath in, trying not to let her fear show to Jasper. The Wraith could feel it, though, and said slowly,

_"Do not be afraid."_

_"How can I not be?"_

_"The child inside you will be mostly human. He will be accepted among your people until he is old enough for my people to take him away."_

_"You will not touch him," _Teyla said, frowning. She already felt close to her child, and she was not going to lose him to a Wraith, not if there was anything she could do about it.

_"Oh, but we will. You'll be giving birth in not quite three months. When the child can walk and talk, we will take him."_

_"No."_

Jasper didn't speak again, and Teyla felt anger rise up beneath the fear she was feeling. She began to try and take control again.

Ronon had paused outside the cell and was looking in curiously as Teyla gripped her head tightly, trying not to focus on the pain that seemed to expand throughout her whole body as the Wraith began to lose the fight for control. Ronon was distracted, however, when the door to the holding cell room opened and John was wheeled in by Carson.

"Hey, Ronon," John said, but his eyes weren't on the taller man in the room; they went straight to Teyla.

Her head moved sharply to the side and bright green eyes stared out through the cell bars. John smirked.

"Hey, I know you're not Teyla, so would you let me talk to her?"

No answer from either Teyla or Jasper. However, bright green eyes made it a point to glare at the two guards. Neither seemed to notice or to care until John spoke up, then they turned their attention briefly on Teyla before turning to the Colonel.

"Right. Hey, Major Jones, Major Jesson, could you leave the room?" John asked, looking up briefly at the guards. They looked slightly concerned for a second, but when Ronon motioned for them to leave, they walked out.

"There. It's just you, me, Ronon and Carson. Happy? Now, will you let me talk to Teyla?"

"Why should I?"

Teyla's voice rang throughout the room, but everyone knew it wasn't her speaking.

"Because I asked nicely?" John suggested. Jasper glared at him. "No? Then how about because you owe me one for _shooting_ me?"

No reaction until Jasper said simply, "If I let you speak to her, what exactly will you speak about?"

John sighed, running a hand through his shaggy black hair as he began to lift himself out of the wheelchair. Carson began to protest, but Ronon shook his head and the doctor backed off. John, finally standing on his feet, walked over to the cell and stood beside it, using the bars to hold himself up.

"I'd tell her exactly what I came here to tell her. And I know she can hear me. Most of us have been through this... this_ thing_, where we get controlled by something or other, and all of us know what's it's like not to be able to do anything when you're hurting your friends."

John paused and winced at the pain that still flashed slowly through his body.

"I'd tell Teyla that none of this was her fault, and she'd better believe me when I _do_ say it. Shooting me wasn't her fault, and neither was anything else that happened. I'd tell her that we're going to get her out of this, no matter what, and that we're all here for her."

Silence followed, and before John could open his mouth to speak again, a soft voice filtered through the air.

"J-John?"

"Teyla? Is that you, or your evil twin?" John asked, almost too afraid to hope.

"It is me. What is happening?"

He didn't know why, but he believed her. He said, "I think your evil twin is gonna let you talk to us for a bit."

"Teyla, love, how do you feel?" Carson asked, moving closer to the cell. He pushed the wheelchair forward, and motioned for John to sit down. He collapsed happily into the chair that was offered, closing his eyes as he tried to catch his breath again.

"I feel fine, Doctor Beckett," she said slowly. Then, looking toward the ground, she said, "Is it true? Is the child I'm carrying a Wraith?"

She didn't know, nor care, if either of the men in the room knew that she was pregnant, but from the lack of surprise on their faces, she knew that John and Ronon already knew both that she was with child, and that the child was part Wraith.

Beckett nodded slowly. "Aye, lass, it is. I'm sorry."

Teyla touched her hand to the cell door; her fingers reached straight through the force field and touched John's fingers, which were still holding onto the cell bars. He smiled at her and their eyes locked for a few seconds before Teyla turned back to Carson.

"Jasper told me that my child would be mostly human. Is there any way to know for sure?"

"I could do an ultrasound, but I don't think you're far enough along to really know."

To anyone watching, it would seem that she was taking the news rather well, but she was struggling with everything she believed in on the inside. She hated the Wraith; and even though she'd only known of her child for a little over three days, she knew that she she would never harm him.

Smiling, Teyla added, "Jasper also called the baby a 'him'."

Carson sighed.

"Teyla, among your people, how long is a woman pregnant for?"

Teyla thought for a second, then said slowly, "It is usually six months. Sometimes, the babies will be born early, though, and only a small portion of them live. Unlike what is happening to me now, when one of my people is pregnant, it is quite obvious at the same point in time that I am."

"Well, from what I have been able to gather, a Wraith queen is pregnant for about an average of four months. She doesn't... expand, for lack of a better word, until the last month."

"Woah," John said, smirking. "That's an awful short time. I guess women on Earth have it bad. Athosians are only pregnant for six months, and Wraith four... man, back on Earth, it takes nine."

"Wraith can't be bothered to be pregnant for longer, I guess," Ronon added. "Too busy feeding on people."

Carson sighed. "That all aside, Teyla, given that the child will be both Athosian _and_ Wraith, we can safely assume that you will not be pregnant for a full six months."

Teyla nodded, then she suddenly closed her eyes as she backed into the middle of the cell. She whispered, "I am losing control," and Carson immediately moved John's wheelchair away from the cell. They watched as Teyla slowly moved to sit on the ground; her eye snapped open and they were green again.

John asked curiously, "Why did you allow us to talk to her? You hate us, and you know we sure as _hell_ hate you."

The Wraith gave John an exasperated look and then said, "I cannot stay in control all of the time. She is strong."

"Oh. I see. Well, Teyla," John said, "I know you're in there somewhere, and we'll be back. Hang on, all right?"

He smiled at her as Carson began to move his wheelchair out of the holding cell again. Ronon called the guards back inside, and Jasper took her place in the corner of the cell again, her arms wrapped around her knees and her head low.

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**_3:21_**

Ronon was pacing tiredly by the time it was mid-morning. He looked over into the cell, but wasn't surprised to see Teyla was not sleeping. He sat down on the ground, fully out of her reach, and said slowly,

"Jasper, huh?"

She turned to look at him, but as soon as he saw her eyes, he knew it was Jasper and not Teyla.

"Yes. That is my name."

Silence. Ronon glared at her and she glared back.

"Why my friend? Why Teyla?"

"Because she is the only one who can help us," Jasper said simply, preparing to turn away from Ronon again. He reached out and shot the cell wall; it bounced harmlessly off of the field, but it got Jasper's attention.

"We _hate_ you and your kind. If we knew that that Wraith kid wouldn't kill Teyla if we killed it, it would be dead in a heartbeat. Not everyone agrees with me. Some are stupid enough to think it should live, that, if we raise it right, it won't one day feed on us. So, just because you are having reproductoin problems, you think you can impregnate my friend with a Wraith?"

"Yes. Because she has out DNA within her cells, she is the only one who can help."

Ronon smirked. "Right. And if the Ancients were having reproduction problems, because Sheppard has their DNA, they would impregnate him?"

Jasper sent Ronon an amused glance. "Teyla is surprised that you seem to care so little for the child she is carrying. She is surprised at how much hate you carry for it."

"I don't care. I hate you, and I hate that kid."

With that, Ronon walked off and continued his pacing. Jasper turned away from him and sat in the middle of the room, her arms around her legs and her eyes concentrating ahead of her.

_"Why do you not say things like that to me?" _Jasper asked Teyla, nodding her head toward Ronon. _"Do you not hate me?"_

_"I have hated the Wraith since I was old enough to be taught what you do. You kill people; you steal loved ones away and you tear apart homes and lives. I hate you with everything that I am."_

_"Yet you do not seem to hate the child within you."_

_"I do not know how I can love him, but I do know that he has done nothing to me, or my people. He is not my enemy, but because he is like my enemy, I am not sure that I can give him the love every child deserves."_

_"You hate all Wraith, do you not? Even the Wraith who have never touched your home or your loved ones. How is this child any different? If you hate the Wraith you have never met, how can you not hate the Wraith within you?"_

Teyla was silent for a minute, then she said slowly, _"I will not hate him because he will never be like you. I swear, with everything I am, that if I have no choice but to give birth to this baby, then he will never even know who he is. He will be mine, and he will be taught to hate you all."_

They were both silent after that; Teyla slowly slipped into sleep and Jasper did, too, having no choice but to give into the need for sleep that was overcoming the body of the human she was controlling.

And in her dreams, Teyla cried.

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**NOTE:** What do _you _think: If they had the choice to kill the Wraith baby, would you want them to kill it, or not? And the baby Wraith/Athosian _is_ going to be a boy, but name suggestions? Anyone? _(Crickets chirp) _Or not...  
**NOTE 2: **Please do not fill any reviews you might send with questions. I _will not_ answer any of them in review replies, but I will answer them all soon _in the story_. Questions like: Why is the baby mostly human? And, Why are the Athosians only pregnant for 6 months? are being asked a lot, and they will be answered in the story if you stick around long enough! But I will not answer any questions until they are answered in the story.

**_Please Review!_**


	6. Ethan

Thanks to **AlexzanderStark**, _female'wraith_, melinda119, **The Puppeteer**, _AthosionWarrior_, CanadianHalliwell,** ayrstar**,_CharmedAli_, Lena,** Padme18**, _ZebraBlonde_, rubycaspar, and **CardBoard Box 19** for being my reviewers for the previous chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is set _after_ **Phantoms** but _before_** The Return Pt. 1!** Song Lyrics: **Waiting For Yesterday** by** 12 Stones.**

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_Watch the sun steal Yesterday,  
Hiding all emotion - far away.  
Days spent wondering why this life is so cold,  
And nothing ever changes._

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**Waiting For Yesterday — V**

**_October 19th, 15:03_**

John sighed as he poked at the jello that was inhabiting his small, blue bowl. It moved under his fork and shook back and forth. It had been days since he had last seen Teyla, and he was going to go insane if he didn't get out of the infirmary. Sighing, he shoved the bowl of jello to the side and yelled,

"Carson!"

The doctor walked into the room and sighed upon seeing his most annoying patient. "What is it now, John?"

"I want to get out of here, that's what."

Carson stared at John, and John only stared back. Neither made a move until Carson said, "Fine, you can go. I see no reason not to let you. Sure you just got shot a few days ago, but oh, well!"

He walked out of the room without another word, and John sat in shock for a few minutes, just staring at the door that Carson had left through. Only seconds after John had finally regained his thoughts, the doctor walked back in.

"Sorry, lad. I've just been having a bad day. I really do see no reason to keep you here, though. The Adoien drug did work, and you're healthy enough. You are not back on active duty, however, and there will be no rough work. Understand?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Now, scram."

John hopped from the bed, trying to hide a small wince, and grabbed the clothes that Elizabeth had dropped off only earlier that day. He closed the curtain around his bed and quickly changed. He was slightly surprised that Elizabeth had good enough taste in men's clothing to bring him something he'd actually wear—a pair of worn, baggy jeans and a black, long-sleeved shirt.

Sighing and patting his hair into place, John walked out of the room and headed toward Teyla's cell. But when he looked in and saw her pacing around, her eyes bright green and filled with emotion—Jasper's emotions—he quickly left. He hated seeing her like that.

He'd come back later.

**_16:30_**

"Uh... what's going on?"

John walked into the infirmary to see Rodney, Ronon, Elizabeth and Carson all sitting before him. He quickly sat down in the chair that sat in front of the team, then looked Carson directly in the eye.

"Sorry for calling you during your nap, but as soon as I told you to scram, I got an idea," the doctor said, running a hand through his hair, a sigh accompanying the very tired look on his face. "The only reason—that I can think of—that there would be a Wraith controlling Teyla is because they don't want her doing something to kill herself of the baby before the child is born. So, logically, if the child were born, the Wraith would break her grasp on Teyla, correct?"

A few nods.

"But the baby won't be born for about a month or so," John said, the confused look on his face growing.

"Aye, it's not going to be. But, as you might know, there is a drug to induce labor in women who have gone past their due date, so the baby can be born without taking more drastic measures. The Wraith child inside of Teyla shouldn't be able to tell how long it's been, so it—he—shouldn't try and stop the labor. It will be born a month early, and—"

"Wait a sec!" John said, raising a hand in the air and waving it around. His actions had him wincing a little because of the pain that shot through his chest, but he ignored it and quickly said, "You told us that the last month of a Wraith's pregnancy is crucial to the baby being born healthy since they're only pregnant for a short time. If we induce labor now, the baby would most likely die... right?"

"So? What's the problem?" Ronon said, shrugging and crossing his arms as he stared at Sheppard. "I like that idea."

John glared at Ronon.

"Hey! What about Teyla? I might not know too much about women, but when they miscarry or their children die right after birth... it can be painful..."

After the sudden change from anger to sadness, he looked down at the ground. The regret and despair that lined his words left a lot of unanswered questions, and Carson was the one to finally break the silence.

"Did your mother...?" he left the question open, and John shrugged.

"Nah. Not my mom. My brother was born healthy. But... nevermind. Back to what I was saying: we can't do that!"

The second sudden switch in emotion was so drastic that everyone knew it was fake. They didn't comment, however, and this time, it was Rodney who broke in.

"But we have the advantage of science on our side. We—well, not _us_, but doctors—have saved babies born at six months, and some even before. That would be about the same difference in a Wraith being born at three and a half months, right?" he asked, looking around the room at his teammates. He didn't know what to say or do, but even he could sense the strong tension created between Ronon and Sheppard.

"Aye, it would," Carson said, rubbing his hands together. "And normally, I wouldn't suggest this at all, but watching Teyla, I can tell that staying in control for even a short amount of time is having a negative effect on her health. And, in order to nourish itself enough to stop a miscarriage because of her poor health, the Wraith baby is taking even more of her strength to keep himself healthy."

There was silence in the room for a while, and finally John sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Are we gonna do it or not? It's you're choice, doc, since you know better than any of us what effect this is having on Teyla."

"I'd say yes, but—" Carson said slowly, only stopping when John stood up, shoving his chair nosily across the floor as he began to walk toward the door.

"Fine. But just so everyone knows, I was against this from the start."

The infirmary door slammed loudly and the lingering silence in the air was uncomfortable.

"As I was saying," Carson started slowly, quietly, "I'd say yes, we should, but... I don't know if it's the right thing to do. As a doctor, I can't help but care about both the baby and Teyla's life. I don't think she'll make it, alive at least, through her whole pregnancy. Maybe a week or two more, but I honestly don't think we can risk it. She's already shaky on her feet, and she's fainted a few times. I don't think it would have been this drastic if Teyla hadn't almost miscarried. Since the child had to nearly kill Teyla in order to heal itself, there was a strong negative effect on her body. If we want her alive and healthy after this baby's born, we have to induce. I'm sorry..."

Elizabeth sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Do it."

She stood silently to her feet and walked out of the room, Ronon on her heals. Rodney shot Carson a nervous, helpless look and then followed, leaving the doctor to his own thoughts.

**_22:40_**

Teyla was now laying on the infirmary bed that John had vacated only hours before. She was sleeping peacefully—thanks to the medications that Carson had given her—and said doctor was about to administer the drug that would help her go into labor.

Rodney was nervous, for he'd never seen a woman give birth before, and Elizabeth was pacing across the ground, biting her fingernails and frowning as Ronon tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. John, who had been missing until only minutes before, was leaning up against the wall beside Teyla, staring at her peaceful face, and then at her barely-expanding stomach.

"How big is this baby gonna be?" he asked quietly, knowing that the answer wouldn't be positive.

"A few pounds, at most," Carson said quietly, pushing the drugs in through the IV that was hooked up to Teyla's arm.

"What now?" Elizabeth asked, her pacing stopping only long enough for her to stare worriedly at her friend.

"We wait."

**_October 20th, 1:03_**

Rodney was starting on his fifth cup of coffee, and John was now occupying a chair beside Teyla's bed. Carson had her hooked up to several machines, one of which was monitoring Teyla's contractions. He wasn't going to wake Teyla until she was contracting enough that they baby would be born soon after. He had figured that, since her body would be in a state of pain and confusion, Jasper would lose control and Teyla would be herself while she was giving birth.

"How much longer?" John asked impatiently, sighing and throwing another paper airplane across the room. A small pile was growing near Ronon, although John had denied the fact, several times, that he was actually trying to hit the bigger man.

"Not long."

A few minutes past, and a few more pieces of paper joined the ever-growing pile. Carson was beginning to wonder what paperwork was the victim of John's frustration this time when the machine that was monitoring Teyla showed that it was time.

"All right."

Rodney stood to his feet quickly.

"I'm, um... gonna wait outside, all right?"

Carson rolled his eyes but nodded, and Elizabeth, Ronon and John stayed put beside Teyla.

A third medication was entered into Teyla's IV, and within minutes, she was opening her eyes slowly. The first thing she did was wince in pain and look around frantically. She didn't have a clue what was going on, as Carson said that they couldn't tell her because Jasper would hear, too, and then their plan wouldn't work.

"What... what's h-happening?" she asked, wincing again as John took her hand. The contractions were pretty strong now.

"Teyla, love, the baby is going to be born soon. You went into labor a few hours ago, and this wee one will join us in a few minutes," Carson said calmly.

"But... I... no, it's too soon!"

She was tired, and it was hard for her to force the words out, but for the first time, she didn't even spare Jasper a thought as she worried for her baby.

"You're only about a month early, everything should be just fine. Now, look, Teyla... it's almost time. John, hold her hand. She's scared, and since I couldn't risk mixing yet another medication with the ones already in her system, she's in a lot of pain."

John nodded and took Teyla's hand, and immediately regretted it when she squeezed it tighter than anything he'd ever felt before. He was sure his fingers would never be the same again, but he didn't care. He knew that what Carson had said probably wouldn't be true. The baby was being born far too soon—Teyla was barely showing yet.

"Time to push!"

Everything went by in flash. Teyla's screams filled the air, and no one said a word as Carson concentrated on delivering the baby and John tried to calm Teyla down a little. She held his hand tightly, and silence was thick in the air until it was pierced by the scream of a small baby.

Teyla's breathing was hard, but she managed to say, quietly, "Can I see him?"

Carson nodded, cut the cord, wrapped the tiny, tiny child in a blanket, and walked over.

"He needs to go away so we can take care of him, but you can see him for a second. John, take the child. I need to clean Teyla up."

"What! No, but I—"

He was cut off as Carson gently placed the baby in his arms. He blinked down at the little, crying bundle and was surprised as bright, emerald green eyes blinked back at him. The baby was bigger than he'd imagined, but not by much.

"And we forgot to take into account that the baby can heal himself. He should be perfectly fine, if his lungs are strong enough," Carson said, smiling a little. "He looks mostly human, too. He'll need to be under guard, but I see no reason to harm him."

John nodded, dumbfounded, as he stared at the tiny life in his arms. After his surprise had passed a little, he shifted the baby in his arms in such a way that Teyla could see him. Elizabeth eagerly leaned over to see the child, too, but Ronon quickly stomped out of the room.

"Ohh, he's so cute!" Elizabeth said, smiling softly.

Teyla smiled, too, but it was a tired smile.

"What are you going to call him?" Carson asked, walking over taking the baby from John. The younger man seemed surprised when the little bundle of warmth was taken away from him, and Teyla's voice cut through the air.

"No, don't take him away!" she said loudly, trying to sit up. John pushed her back down, his hands on her shoulders to keep her from moving around. "They'll hurt him, they'll hurt him because he's not human...!"

"Hey, calm down a little, Tey," John said, his voice softer than anyone had heard it in more than a week—since this had all begun happening. "They're not going to touch him. Here... how about if I go with him?"

Teyla nodded, gripping his hand tightly as she leaned back on the bed. She was still sweating, and she looked up at John as he began to walk out of the room.

"Oh, and he _does_ need a name, Teyla. We can't call him Baby Emmagan forever, ya know."

"Ethan N-Noah," Teyla finally said, her voice shaky as she watched John reach into the portable crib and place his hand on the baby's stomach. "I want to n-name him E-Ethan Noah..."

Her eyes slipped closed as John's shot open with surprise. His hand shook on little Ethan's tummy as they slowly walked out of the room. He didn't even notice Rodney, who was sleeping in one of the chairs outside the infirmary, or Ronon, who's angry eyes followed them as the baby, Carson and John walked from the room.

A little cry from Ethan brought John out of his thoughts, but as soon as the baby's name came back into his mind, he went numb again.

_Ethan... why did she choose _that _name? Why the name of my... of my son?_

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_Ohh!_ And **now** would be where I get shot for not updating for forever! Ahhh! It's been months and months! I suuuck.

And about John's _son_... well, that was something I came up with while thinking of a name for Teyla's baby. And no worries, this isn't going to be the end. We still have to deal with what I have planned for the future: Teyla is still being controled, her baby is being tested on, Ronon is trying to kill baby Ethan... oh, wait... I wasn't supposed to say that!

**_Please Review!_**


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